Reflections

When I think of you
I realize you're the one force
Who has never lost the power
Of what mysteries can do

Fifteen and I thought you'd left
Vanished into the night
Never to return
Except on reels of tapes
I'd replay when life became too much
Or when I needed a reminder
Of the dreams that were kept

You're not the only one
It's true
But you're the only one
That returned
With a new mystery
That revealed
We were never done

Now it's two souls in a dance
Recognition of lives gone past
More than we know how to explain
You're just another person
Like me, like him, like her
But still capable of holding
My heart in a never-ending trance

Love, it is not yet
Like, it is more than
Somewhere in-between
Fifteen and thirty-three
You and I became more alike
Than imaginations could ever see
Or two faces who've spent this lifetime
Merging their identities
From the moment they met

Preparing For Battle

In a box
I found an old letter
You gave to me
Full of encouragement
And child-like joy
Stickered amongst
The few words
So as not to overwhelm
My undeveloped mind

I never told you
You were my favorite
Funny how things don’t really change
On the journey from innocence
To dark responsibility
Funny how somehow
I knew to keep that letter
Safe
So that it could someday
Remind me of what you
Already knew
I would need
And
Who I would be

I often wonder
Who you are now
Ten years ago
I caught a glimpse
And then it was
Good-bye in disguise
But your spirit
Always remains

Like today
In words spoken
Twenty-five years ago
“Sergeant at Arms” I was
And I will be again
My only hope is that
You would be as proud
And grateful for me now
As you were then

You and I

Yesterday
You and I
Became intertwined
Hoping for more
Than what we could see
Beneath the glow
From our eyes
Came the yearning
To become
What should be
Two as one
And now

You and I
Are about to be gone
Torn from the shambles
Of what was
What could be
And hopes
For a better tomorrow
The light
Can shine again
If we’d let
It cross over
Into what we
Feel should be
Wishful thinking
I know
For what you want
And what you’ll do
Are as far as the distance
Between where my heart lives
And where your feet stand

You and I
We’re like those plastic bags
That get caught up in the wind
Floating on air
Twirling without thought
Aimlessly hoping
That the place we’ll land
Is more comfortable
Than the ground
We were carried away from
Not forgotten
But unable to return
Because the wind
Doesn’t exactly reappear
Like it did
In the same place
Twice

Fixing This Dysfunction

Fixing this dysfunction
Requires more
Than a phone call
Or a simple touch
Meant to say
“I’m sorry.”

I’m not sure
It’s even possible
After years
Of being shut-down
Inside
Any affection
Dying
Each time
I have to see you
Or hear the phone ring
In your haphazard attempts to fix
What was

I don’t think
You yet realize
That what was
Still exists somewhere in my heart
It remembers
Each tragedy
Spun from the fabric that unraveled

Leaving strands
Scattered across
A floor now filled
With a mixture of cluttered debris
And stain-free spots
Visible amongst the chaos of leftover scripts
That weren’t meant to be written
At all

We Were Never Too Good To Dance

You once told me
That I was too good for you
Back when it was
Just another dinner
And I wanted to make up my own mind

But truth has a funny way
Of already knowing
What will transpire
If not now
Eventually
Becoming a less than opaque
Reality
Almost the way a sunrise
Begins to show us
What we weren’t sure
Existed in the night

So I told myself that I wasn’t
That you were somehow wrong
That we were okay to dance
Despite the ex who wanted revenge
And the kids that turned out okay
And you, who always felt inadequate
For being less than who they thought you were
And the rebel inside, who needed to be rescued
By someone just learning how to grow-up

You were right
But I have no regrets
That it turned into more
Than just another dinner
Or that the music we danced to
Has now evaporated
Somewhere between
A coastal breeze
And a mountain
Whose climb
Was worth
Every breath

A Final Goodbye

Don’t you think
It’s about time
We let each other go
We’ve talked about it
A few times before
Yet never followed through
I suppose
Out of misguided obligation
Or the need to still love
The way we used to

The way we used to
Laugh and smile with our eyes
The way we used to
Love without words
The way we used to
Become one
In a caress that felt
Like smooth sand
Slowly tracing
Over the skin
Again
And
Again
Connecting
More than just flesh
More than just our hearts
More than just two souls

It was a connection
Of our lives
Together working
Towards the same dream

A long time ago
That dream split
Into two
Continuing
To love you
Won’t make it one again
I’ve got to fly towards
My destiny
And you need to stay
In yours

Just know
That when goodbye
Does finally come
And we’ve collected
The tears, the pain and the emptiness
That I’ll never forget
That smile, that comforting voice
That feeling of home
Or the ecstasy
I once thought would be impossible
For someone like me

You're Better Off....

I’ve decided
That you’re better off
With her
Because I can’t
Be controlled or manipulated
Into being an image
Subservient to your needs

You’re better off with her
Because we still want
Different things
That I won’t give up
Just to appease
Your need for dominance

You see, I don’t love you
That way
Not then
Not now
It’s not my problem
If you made
The same mistake

With her

At least she adores you
In a way
That I could never
See myself
Doing
At least she takes care of you
In that way
That I would never
Be able to force myself
Into doing

You see,
You’re better off
With her
Because even though
She doesn’t have
Your true heart
At least
She’s able
To make up
For the absence
Of mine