1. Start to think you're really hot.
2. Wear your hair up in a makeshift bun after attempting to let it air dry, which it never does. Brushing optional.
3. Tell him he can refer to you as "Chip Chick" or "Sassy Lil' Mama."
4. Only wear minimal make-up: base, mascara on the upper lashes only, eye shadow, lip gloss, and a little pencil.
5. Wear the company provided biker looking black non-slip boots.
6. You're a size 6, but put on the size 8 khakis so you look slimmer than what you really are.
7. Pretend you're not the slightest bit interested while staring at your handheld computer.
8. Try to turn him off in every which way: swear like a sailor, flip the bird, tell it like it is and tell him you can only accept "diet" drinks because you're watching the girly figure.
9. Offer to listen to his problems, nod, and say a few encouraging words as if you're really interested.
10. Always, always, wear the padded bra, even though the twins could really use a minimizer.
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